Hubby went in for surgery on a very significant hiatal hernia, as recommended by 3 surgeons. Took 3 hours. Woke up vomiting blood and feeling like his right lung was being ripped open. Surgeon's favorite response after any question (even the one HE asked) or concern was raised: "What did you expect? You just had surgery." EKG done and was abnormal (cardiologist called up and said he was concerned until he saw his previous EKGs). Put on one dose of blood pressure medication (temporary). Were not told EKG was abnormal, but that it was normal. Had an X-ray that showed partially collapsed lung. Were not told it was abnormal in anyway. I suspected both were abnormal, but I was put in my place for even asking about the test results. ZERO communication about what was happening, what the test results were, what to expect, or any answers to any questions. The following day I asked very pointedly what the test results really showed and why did he still have trouble breathing? Or why were other stats still high and he wasn't improving? Finally told, "Well, yes, there was a partially collapsed lung but it's normal after this surgery." By the second day, the surgeon stopped being so mean with his "It's just recovery. What did you expect" response, but still didn't communicate. The cardiologist had decided it had nothing to do with their specialty and handed it back to the surgeon. However, the surgeon couldn't say why things weren't improving. I didn't ask much and figured it was just an extra day of healing. However, something in me said they were missing the last piece of his puzzle. At this point I didn't think Mike was DYING. There were many more severe cases throughout the hospital. HOWEVER, it mattered to us. OBVIOUSLY everything wasn't fine/normal as the surgeon flippantly declared several times OR we would have left as expected days earlier.
Mike continued to struggle breathing, had a higher heart rate, blood pressure, temperature, and chest pain, but not severe enough on their own to raise red flags. Each day we were told we should go home the next day. But he wasn't improving and instead continued getting a little worse and worse. After 2 days we were told we would have to move rooms and HOPEFULLY would leave in 2 more days-Saturday instead of Wednesday. By day 3, I was frustrated with the surgeon's lack of communication, my husband's lack of improvement, and my anxiety started climbing as memories of my own experiences with dismissive doctors creeped in. I had shared updates with others and prayers increased. I shared a bit more information with others via email, although I was running on little sleep, poor health, and interrupted communication with our phones. I know everyone I communicated with cared and wanted the best for us. Mike and I had concern and anxiety, so I reached out for support and extra love. (My love language, and help with peace, is through words of affirmation. Mike was so out of it that I had to turn to many others at that time. I felt like I wasn't being heard in the hospital-which was VERY much my issue with waking up in my own surgery earlier this year). There were several who recommended just trusting the doctor and stepping back. I believe I could have relaxed if the doctor had communicated from the beginning. On the night of the 3rd day, Mike got an anointed blessing and I stopped trusting the doctor blindly. Instead, I asked MORE questions and asked for MORE monitoring. I shared my own thoughts instead of staying quiet. They learned that his blood pressure was up and down too much and finally put him on bp medication consistently. It was then that cardiologists were asked BACK on his case. He finally had no chest pain regularly, could breathe on his own, and stats went back to normal. He was no longer pale, lethargic, or out of it. There were many who were incredibly supportive! They brought meals, answered questions the surgeon wouldn't take time to do, drove me back and forth so I could take a shower, called or texted love and support, and encouraged me to share my thoughts with the doctors and nurses. (Bless nurses and medical professional friends we can trust!) Mike and I both have had excellent doctors, more specifically surgeons, and nurses. BUT, sometimes you have to speak up and not just silence the voice inside screaming for you to speak up. It is funny how time seems to slow down in hospitals. I knew in the end Mike would be fine. But it is hard to feel like your voice is negated and things aren't being taken seriously. To many others it wasn't a big deal. But, to us it was a big deal. I appreciated those who listened to us, and let me cry some, lean on them, and gave of themselves what we needed and couldn't do on our own.
Now his pain is really just in his heart. He feels like something is grinding in there. You would think it would be the incision sites or where most of the surgery happened. But, it's not. Surgeon and Cardiologist say it's fine. I'm hopeful that he will improve and we have an appointment this week with the family doctor.
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