I was an "older" single in Utah and remember one fireside in particular. My friends and I came earlier so we could have good seats. Later, an older lady sat next to me and right before it started, an usher came to say, "Can you move? There isn't enough room for this woman's husband." I was just a single, so moving me was easier than an older lady WITH someone. She needed the softer seat, so I moved, but I did it begrudgingly. I sat by myself and felt alone.
John Bytheway and his wife were speaking at the fireside (meeting). He had been single well past his peers and some people were critical. He was doing the best he could to progress, with one aspect of progression being building a family. But, he hadn't found his eternal companion yet. He had prayed along the way and sometimes dated girls where it didn't work out. He was so confused because he had felt good about the different relationships at the time.
Then he said, "Sometimes the WRONG one is the RIGHT one to lead you to the BEST one."
{This is NOT to say that disobeying a commandment or doing wrong will lead us to good. "Wickedness never was happiness." Some people will date someone who isn't good for them or we simply make wrong choices that go against God's counsel. Later we are surprised to realize the depth of consequences from our negative choices. We've all done it, learn from it, and move forward if we look above for assistance, input, and if necessary, repentance & forgiveness.}
This statement by John Bytheway has run through my head too much the past year. We did NOT even make $20,000 last year. Before starting school, jobs were not working out (except for a few that would mean not doing school or one that required Mike being gone from 7:30 a.m. to midnight every day/night. He had to quit because of my health issues, though). We felt strongly that Mike should do the intensive school program. There were a few times we questioned our inspirations and the ability for us to survive for a whole year. Since it was a technical college, they had limited funds and other establishments wouldn't loan anything additional. It left us with only $770/mo from August to May. I'm really good with money, but no magician. In time we felt strongly that somehow it would work out. It took another huge leap of faith, especially because the previous two years resulted in frighteningly bad finances and struggles. In 2015, there were several months were we didn't make any money and even one job where Mike got less than $4/hr. On top of the lack of funds, we had 4 robberies, 2 ER visits, a "Peeping Tom," frightening & confusing health problems for both of us, often two house payments, and no help from several people/places that usually help others in need. There were months where we brought in nothing: $0/mo income, no food stamps, no unemployment, no bishop's storehouse, no health insurance, or anything else despite our applications and requests as there were many delays. {Thankfully there were some friends and family who were inspired and we were blessed step by step.} So, obviously this move forward into school without a job scared us that it would be another 2 steps shoved backwards just like the years before had turned out to be.
At this point in my life I should be confident in the inspirations I've received and know that doubt often follows powerful promptings. I knew I'd been inspired down to small details throughout my life and even knew when things would be hard. However, they were always much, much harder than I ever expected. For example, when we were looking at homes to buy, with our excellent credit score, savings, and job, we qualified for a home twice the amount of the one we chose. I felt that we should choose a much cheaper, older, smaller home than the ones we'd been exploring. I was inspired to know that the home would be okay for us, but that I'd hate it the second year of ownership. I imagined a few thousand dollars being sunk by bad plumbing or electrical issues. If ONLY it were a few thousand dollars! It was so much worse than I imagined. But, in the end, it was okay. Another time, I remember crying and crying when the railroad called back four months after furlough. I explained my fears and feelings that by the time we returned to Kansas, we would have given up a good job and would be furloughed again before working one single day. The night we pulled into our driveway, back at our rental, we learned that he had in fact been furloughed right before his shift. The first furlough with the railroad put hundreds out of a job. This time they furloughed thousands across the nation. Sadly, the job we left in Idaho was no longer available, either.
Joining the railroad felt so right, and yet it was the worst financial decision we had ever made. WHY did we feel so good about it when it went so horribly wrong?
It took me a while before I found the positive blessings hidden behind wretched fears and struggles.
We learned a great deal of compassion and understanding for others struggling. There are so many in the world who were in a much more tragic and dire situation than us. We were not starving, living on the streets, or in a war-torn country, absolutely alone, or entirely hopeless. There were others we knew needed more help than our little family in the middle of the USA.
Each time I thought we'd maxed out our blessings and credit cards, I was surprised to find we had just enough intervention to carry on.
We learned what matters most and if we lost every physical thing, we would be a-okay.
I had help weekly with my worsening health and my husband's intense schedule.
We learned God is aware of us and others are incredibly inspired. I learned I was loved and not forgotten.
We learned to acknowledge our weaknesses, ask for help, and to fully accept service. {SO much easier to give than receive, honestly}.
My husband and I are quite nonjudgemental, but I learned that we still had some judgements and assumptions that were narrow minded with regard to employment, resources, and a few extra limitations.
The most dramatic twist of fate in our path of survival was our journey of jobs. In 2014, my husband's company's health coverage was significantly worse than previous years. As my health worsened, so did our finances. My husband always wanted to have rentals and drive trains. He got both dreams and so much more...or less. =) A 'bad' job (poor coverage and not enough pay or opportunities to move up) led to the WORST job (Union Pacific) that was the RIGHT job to lead us to the BEST job and path of education. The struggles led to re-evaluation of our occupational path and taught my hubby that he can be successful in intensive training and testing. Before the railroad, we'd talked about education and possible opportunities. Dead-end jobs pushed us to so many more opportunities and open doors.
Before my husband completed his 48 credit hours (in TWO semesters with all A's and one B), he had multiple job offers. He decided on one job of the three offered. THIRTY minutes after he decided which job to take, the Union Pacific called to take him off furlough! Years after furlough, the timing was impeccable. We moved forward with the job that had good pay and the easiest opportunity to continue education. In one year we had gone through the darkest tunnel of our lives and came out the other side to the light. We saw the beautifully orchestrated outcome of hard work, sacrifice, inspiration, and especially intervention.
Stumbling through the dark tunnel as you chase the elusive light at the end is usually when change happens. Sporadic glimmers of light give a dull glow that keeps you moving forward, but sometimes feeling your way through the rough path makes you think that you are alone. It isn't until the end, that you see you weren't alone. None of us are alone. The darkness can be suffocating and even painful in every way possible. But thank HEAVENS for the LIGHT of the WORLD!
I am so grateful for those who lent their lights to me, those who lifted me when I'd fallen, and helped make the past year of education and now the BEST job we've ever had become a reality. When you're in the middle of trials it seems as though it will never end. But, thankfully as long as we continually turn to God, He can make the seemingly impossible, POSSIBLE.
Bless you all for being my BEST supporters. <3 <3 <3
