Rebecca the AMAZING

In the last 4+ years I've had 5 people whom I could relate to with physical trials. Sadly, in the last year 3 of those dear people have passed away. Rebecca was the one I was the closest to. She and I exchanged gifts, laughs, thoughts, support, memories, random messages, and loads of love. The last few weeks of her life we talked about death, the next life, fears, funny things people say, funeral, pain (she surprisingly didn't have a lot of pain through parts of it), her family, living for the day, great memories and "soul sisterhood." She cracked me up calling herself cyclops and talked about how she was struggling putting into words everything she felt and experienced ("Win, Win").

These are treasures to me!

She was incredibly talented and thoughtful.

Rebecca taught me a GREAT deal from the first day I met her. These past years she has served me many times even in her suffering. She made a quiet book for my daughter to get through church when Mike was on the railroad most Sundays. She sent movies when I was home-bound. When my hair was falling out she sent this powder stuff to help my confidence. About a month before she was sent home to die she sent me a rock with the word HOPE engraved and little notes of hope to open when I was feeling lost. She sent messages, support, thoughts, and love in the most Christ-like way you can imagine. She also showed me how to LIVE and THRIVE. Her blog alone is about thriving and she truly lived moving forward with HOPE. She was a light to everyone who knew her. (https://choosingtothrive.wordpress.com). She didn't stop living, wallow in self-pity, or live in la-la-land. She accepting things as they were, processed them, and then got up to live each day. She truly learned to thrive despite great trials. She fought an aggressive cancer FOUR times in five years! She passed away at only 35. And yet the things she accomplished in her short time on earth were astounding. Even more than that, though, were the hundreds...thousands of people she blessed.

I'd like to say that the past two weeks I've been able to focus on the positive. But, I've kind of sucked at it. Not only are there several extra stressors coming up in my life, which are also affecting me physically in new ways (just MS spikes, nothing like my Oct-Dec relapses), but I'm just not dealing too well with Rebecca's passing. However, I can't deny the reminder over and over that she had a great deal of uncertainty and struggles but continued to make the best of it. Take control over what she could and live to the best of her ability! The best way I can mourn her life is to honor it and follow her example.

I've decided I need to accept the pain more than I have before. Instead of waiting for it to pass or hiding away because I'm too afraid to bring on more pain, I want to THRIVE, as my dear friend did! By doing more, I accept that more pain will come. I didn't realize how much I smiled until I couldn't. I am known as "the laughy girl," laughs-a-lot, or the girl you can hear a hallway away, but through the past year I lost some of that. I was forced to stop laughing, smiling, & talking, but I'm ready to thrive again. To stop just "not dying," but LIVE again. I'm making this next year my "Lazarus" year. I can't bring Rebecca back, but I sure can live as she would. ALL IN!

She noticed I was struggling carrying my things and the humidity as we were walking the streets of Italy to the monastery we were staying in. She offered to take my bag, even though she had her own. Symbolic in so many ways.

We LOVED Greece

Ephesus, Turkey

A guy outside of Turkey wanted to take us where we wanted to go. But Rebecca and I didn't feel good about him. Thankfully we found someone else and shared with a cute family. She followed the Spirit and her heart in so many ways.

Some of my FAVORITE people on the planet! (Greek uncles and aunt, Rebecca & Brecken)

Night train through France into Italy was wildly entertaining. Pretty much anything with Rebecca is deeply spiritual or wildly entertaining!

Rebecca was getting a better view of the Queen of England. The strength and balance she had in life was admirable. 

We stayed in a few castles in Ireland and she went with me to explore the whole place. (There were a shocking amount of doors and windows unlocked. haha). When she entered a place she didn't just enter, she ENTERED and explored! =) 

I have cried and cried that I will no longer hear her voice (Voxer deleted all of our messages) or get her messages. Maybe I'll be lucky and she will send messages in other ways. 

At a medieval banquet in a medieval castle, this guy was hitting on her SO much telling her in HIS castle she would be his queen. All while his wife, who didn't speak English, sat across the table. Rebecca was a CATCH and admired by young and old. 

Where they used to fight and then we had to fight our bodies even more back in the states. 

Lough Key castle was the one we rowed to in the rain. Rebecca let me use her camera to record video and take pictures. The picture on my blog was from this little adventure. I love that she included that part of our venture in her memorial video too. Recently I thought of the song, "Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream."

My chickanas in Northern Ireland near a massive rope bridge. They encouraged me through my fear of heights. Who knew years later they'd encourage me through other fears?

She was beautiful inside and out!

Always the adventurer. She saw this in the airport and we decided to go there first the following day. This was how Rebecca lived her life. She saw an opportunity and took it. She saw what was below, but focused mostly forward and looked up. 

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