I find it ironic that the film/book is coming out on Valentine's day, since it sounds like the furthest thing from a romance or love. And the main character's name is Christian?! He sounds like the antagonist to a real Christian.
I've seen articles discussing the book and film and am appalled that anyone would support an entitled man into bondage, stalking, control, abuse, sadism and masochism who takes advantage of a naive virgin (because he is handsome and rich). Make the main character homeless, penniless, and outwardly dirty like he is inside and I think people would be outraged.
At the chiropractors recently, the assistant was saying a radio report stated that the film should have been rated NC-17 because it had more skin shown and pushed the line more than any other rated R movie. I mentioned how I had just read a magazine article in their office about how poorly the book is written and how controlling the man is to the young girl. He chooses a gynecologist and has her examined at his house. He has the many girls sign papers where he can do anything he wants to them. I said I couldn't understand why people were accepting this instead of burning it and outraged. The lady next to me said it was a good book. Yes, it should have been rated higher than R, but it was good.
I wonder if she has worked with abused and neglected kids. Of all abuse, I have seen that sexual abuse causes the most damage long term. (Just my experience).
The Malaysian Film Censorship Board (LPF) denied a certificate to screen Fifty Shades of Grey in their country, Variety reports, thus canceling the movie's Feb. 12 expected released date in Malaysia.
LPF chairman Abdul Halim referred to the erotic book-turned-movie as being "more pornography than a movie," adding that the film contains scenes that "are not of natural sexual content."
America (and other countries), however report record-breaking pre-ticket sales. I used to think pornography and erotica were more of a male thing. But, that was me being naive.
Over the years I have learned how damaging pornography is to relationships and society. Is there a serial murderer who wasn't addicted? Do you know what young girls these days are being told they should do as young men are viewing the demeaning, violent, raunchy filth for their "education?" How many marriages have crumbled under Satan's thumb?
Before I was married, I witnessed miserable marriages and divorces from people in abusive, controlling, selfish, addicted relationships. I knew a few things I would never settle for: abusive and/or controlling hubby, demeaning attitudes or talk, addicted to pornography, substance abuse or gambling, or someone with Satan in their back pocket, avoiding looking upward.
I decided I would rather be somewhat sad and single than miserably married throughout mortality.
When I met my husband, we talked about anything and everything. We knew the best and the worst about each other by day 5 (we talked for 9 hrs straight only taking bathroom breaks---I couldn't get enough of him). Before my love, I thought you had to date a man for at least a year to understand his dark side. Addictions, selfishness levels, commitment, etc. But, I learned quickly my man was who I had been searching for my whole life. He made me want to be better without ever making me feel bad (demeaning, controlling, cruel). We decided what we would do with finances, media, if we never got pregnant, if I ended up in a wheelchair or bedridden, and how we would fortify our home against Satan. We developed plans to avoid pornography, "chores" around the house, temple attendance schedules, and boundaries of intimacy before and after marriage.
The world would laugh and scoff at the fact that I was a virgin at 32 and didn't show full love until after I was married for time and all eternity. Society today would mock us for having security on our computers and even cell phones for grown adults. But I cannot put into words the appreciation and deep love that comes from waiting until you were joined in the temple. To unite entirely with ONLY one person the way God had intended. No regrets and only purity brings blessings Hollywood can't imagine or even come close to portraying.
So here is my list of 50 shades of love (in no particular order) from my experience with my one-true-love. (Most people don't believe in soul mates. I believe it is rare, but possible).
1. Intimacy w/in bonds of marriage (monogamy)
2. Never demeaning or controlling your spouse (I have seen marriages where one controls and the other becomes a shell of who they once were. It is like the life is sucked out of them. I used to think Satan's plan would have failed because we would have not grown and would have stayed the same. But, now I wonder if it would shrink and whither our spirits to almost nothing. Zombie, angst, misery always on edge as they walk over egg shells. Not Celestial at all).
3. Kissing and saying, "I love you" every time we part
4. Reading scriptures and praying as a family daily
5. Telling me I'm beautiful and don't need to lose a pound when I get insecure about weight gain due to meds
6. Cooking, cleaning, and asking what he can do to help me when I have no strength (I could care less if he is loading the dishwasher different than I would. He's loading the dishwasher and being a partner!! No complaints here--just a whole lot of praise and kisses).
7. Priesthood blessings
8. Giving me the best towel, biggest half of a treat, and best seat in the house
9. Massages
10. Holding and hugs
11. Talking about our dreams and planning our future (sometimes we roam around hardware stores dreaming about our home and pretending)
12. Date nights (we haven't had one for a while, but we will eventually).
13. Encouraging me to never stop dreaming and asking how he can help me achieve
14. Amazing father who is usually on the same page as me with parenting. Our baby loves us both!!
15. Talking for hours many nights a week
16. When I crash too early, he takes me to bed and let's me sleep on
17. Going to the card isle and laughing our heads off for "date night" with diapers in hand.
18. Road trips to no where
19. No pornography in our homes or on phones for our entire marriage
20. Intimacy as often as we both want it and respect, admiration and love throughout.
21. His unconditional love for me has shown me how God and Christ see me. He has brought me closer to them because of his love for me.
22. He doesn't communicate with exes and told me before marriage that he wanted a joint fb account for that reason (plus he doesn't really like fb).
23. He works hard to provide for us
24. He reads to me at night and sometimes scratches my back until I fall asleep
25. Witness couple at Nauvoo temple
26. Always opens my doors
27. Calls me his Queen and our daughter his princess (and treats us accordingly)
28. Foot massages and when we had money, he encouraged me to get pedicures from time to time to relax and get out
29. Asked my mom to take me clothes shopping because I wouldn't during pregnancy (or really ever)
30. Bought me a computer when I was teaching (2 incomes makes a diff :)) so I could load my pictures and work on my book
31. Moved to Utah for me (I was planning on moving there, but when we prayed, we both felt like Utah first, then Kansas).
32. He will watch chick flicks with me (here and there :))
33. I have never washed the toilet since marriage and rarely have taken out the trash. He calls me his queen and doesn't think I should have to do dirty work.
34. Since a bad relapse, he has always done the laundry. (He washes, and I fold when I'm strong)
35. We hold hands all the time
36. He asks how I'm doing and means it
37. He can read me and encourages me to talk through things after I've had a bit of time to process
38. In the few disagreements we've had, we always come together and are never cruel in a discussion
39. We don't yell
40. I randomly try to scare him when he least expects it. He used to scare me often, but I got too used to it. :)
41. We both decided we will do all in our control to see both families each year.
42. We never talk down to each other. He didn't want another mom and I didn't want another dad. We wanted to be equals in the journey.
43. Every day we talk about how lucky we are to have each other and talk about what a great life we have (count our blessings in a sense)
44. Helps a lot with potty training and asks for fashion advice (does this match) when he dresses the toddler and we are going out.
45. Randomly thanks me for saying, "yes," to marry him
46. Serves generously
47. Tells our lil 2 yr old, "You are beautiful like mom," and "you are sooo smart. You got that from your mama."
48. Family Home Evening, regular church attendance, prayers, and gospel discussions regularly
49. Crazy family dance parties, hide-and-seek and chasing at this house almost daily (dances with me in the kitchen or wherever prob weekly)
50. We laugh daily, love often and may not be rich by the world's standard, but I feel eternally blessed and rich.
I hope when my little girl grows up, she puts God first and finds a man as good as mine. If she can't find someone who eschews pornography or controlling bahaviors, is able to take her to the temple, never pushes her to do things she isn't comfortable with, talks her up instead of putting her down, gives her the best (butterflies, hope, encouragement, and love), then I hope she runs and finds joy in singleness until she finds him.
I wish everyone became and found something great instead of playing around in the gray.
Articles I've read recently:
http://fightthenewdrug.org/get-the-facts/#sthash.sCTZLw20.dpbs
https://www.lifesitenews.com/static/even-the-co-stars-think-50-shades-of-grey-is-awful-rubbish-and-maybe-even-a.html
Sorry I couldn't find the news article where they were interviewing young guys and gals as they cried because of what guys think is acceptable.
