How are YEW? How arrrrre You?

I remember the sweet Kenyans chasing our matatus (mini van taxis) through the slums outside of Nairobi. They would laugh, smile, pop a thumb up and say, "How are you? How are YeeeWWWW?" We would respond, "Great! How are you?" Since most didn't have the privilege of education, they hadn't learned any English beyond this simple phrase. They would stare at us and repeat just as enthusiastically as before, "How are you?" They had nothing, but were some of the happiest people I have ever met.

No shoes. 

Some hole-ridden Disney shirt from the 80's and a pair of pants barely hanging on. 

MAYBE one piece of fruit for the whole day to eat. 

Chewing constantly on wood. 

Surrounded by a black river, sewage through the street, rubbish all over. 

Lucky if they had a tiny home consisting of a filthy assortment of cardboard, corrugated metal, and a dirt floor.

But they were HAPPY!

I left Kenya almost 12 years ago and it forever changed me. I remember coming back to my tiny apartment, attending a RS social, and leaving early bawling because I felt so utterly blessed. My perspective had changed. I really did feel like a mzungu (meaning both 'white/European decent' and 'rich'). I had returned to the same situation, but my eyes had been opened!

(I have ALWAYS been grateful for indoor plumbing)

It's funny to look back on my experiences. I didn't feel rich by American standards, but I did by Soweto slum standards. I came back to a job, a working car, an ability to walk and go outside every day, connections to others, internet, a phone, tv, incredible friends, wonderful family, health insurance, plenty of food, opportunities to serve in church and community, and had clothes with no holes! Before Kenya, I felt lucky, optimistic, and blessed. But I had never considered myself rich.

I really was rich.

The past two years, I've again felt NOT rich. We went a year with no internet. We had no tv for a year. {Which is saying a lot for someone who is almost entirely homebound with a rambunctious toddler}. We have gone almost a year with only one working car and me only being able to go out once a week typically. There were times I had to get toilet paper and milk from my in laws because our $5/week grocery budget was still too high. Our medical bills climbed, we added new health diseases, and had little to no work, health coverage, or hope from time to time. I didn't complain when a neurologist wanted me in the hospital, a dentist wanted to fix a cavity, and a doctor wanted tests done but I simply told them I couldn't afford it. I went without for over a year. But, I reminded myself often that I wasn't as bad off as SO many people across the world. In September 2015, things seemed to be turning around a bit. My hard working hubby was hired on permanently and was getting OVERTIME! In 3.5 months we made the same amount as we made the first 8.5 months of the year. We were ALL getting insurance, my aunt gave me money to go see a doctor about all my health problems, a friend sent money making it possible to visit family for Christmas and we were able to pay our bills instead of going into debt. Ahhhh, making it paycheck to paycheck again...life was good!

After reading about Nephi and Laman's different reactions to their WILDERNESS (and what they thought could make them happy), my hubby read some quotes along with our studies...

Elder Neal A. Maxwell shared how great lessons often come after difficulties: “Nephi’s broken bow doubtless brought to him some irritation, but not immobilizing bitterness. After all, he was just trying to feed the extended family, so why should he have to contend as well with a broken bow? Yet out of that episode came a great teaching moment. Irritation often precedes instruction” (If Thou Endure It Well [1996], 128).

I have had moments in my life where I have been wandering, I have been irritated but hopeful, and also when I have experienced immobilizing bitterness. The longer I stayed in the valley of hopelessness without reaching out for help or in the desert of despair, depression, discouragement, and distrust, the more I wandered. Thankfully I continue to learn that Christ, the Prince of Peace, Living Waters, our Redeemer is ALWAYS there for me. I have received a great deal of instruction after some great irritations. (No one on earth has experienced more than Christ).

Another favorite:::

Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught that adversity can help stimulate necessary growth in our lives:

“May I share some suggestions with you who face … the testing that a wise Heavenly Father determines is needed even when you are living a worthy, righteous life and are obedient to His commandments.

“Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously. When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more (see Proverbs 3:11–12). He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1995, 18; or Ensign, Nov. 1995, 16–17).

Wow! YESSSSS!!! This was our past year and a half! We aren't out of the woods just yet. But I am quite happy that we are here instead of where we were in 2014 and 2015!!

Before I moved to Kansas, if anyone had asked me if I considered myself a relatively patient, compassionate, optimistic person who had experienced a great deal of pain, suffering, depression, loneliness, fatigue, and struggles financially, emotionally, and physically, I would have emphatically shouted "YES!!!!"  But, little did I know God had some plans for stretching on the horizon. I don't feel like my experiences have changed who I am, but instead just made me more so. I am closer to God and Christ. I have more compassion, faith, understanding, and hope. I thought I could accurately predict who would help the most in dark times and where to turn for assistance. In many cases I would have predicted well, some I would have been way off on, and a few I NEVER would have guessed. I think it has been those who have struggled the most, who have been stretched beyond their capacity, who TRULY do understand financial, emotional, physical, social, etc struggles who have been my greatest help and allies. 

To anyone else who is being "STRETCHED," my heart goes out to you. I hope that you are blessed with angels on earth, someone to turn to, and a strength, peace, hope, or outpouring of love that you haven't experienced before. It will eventually get better. Way, way later than you anticipate, hope, or pray for, but as long as you keep trying, turn to God and reach out, it WILL {eventually} get better. OR you'll get stronger so you can BETTER handle it. Either way. It will get better.